Where am i?
I cant see myself
I look in the mirror and see a stranger
well. almost a stranger. i remember those eyes.
and the soul that is beneath
hiding under the blanket with the door locked and the lights out
the windows barred and the curtains are closed
it just sits there
hiding
afraid that the light will come back
and then go away again
it wishes it would stay
then it would be
safe
warm
happy
where did it all go?
why did the light go away?
I am not sure
i cant find anything
i cant see in the dark
YET
ill adjust
and get used to the dark
and then it'll be too late
if the light does come back
ill be blinded
i want to see the light
before its too late
And i lose my chance
But my chances are gone
and the one i love
loved
lost
or was he ever there?
I thought he was
i am probably wrong
he probably hated me the whole time
and i didn't see it
i was blinded
by happiness
the one thing i truly want
but cant have
because he took my heart
and only left me half
and then the next one
he broke it again
and now all i have is a little piece
and I am sharing it again
and praying to every god i know
that he doesn't break it
and if he does, ill just have tiny pieces left
shattered glass of the once beautiful window to my soul
which is still barred
and the curtains drawn
the world is too dangerous
i want to stay in bed
i was to not be HERE
in this place
but I am always here
because the place i hate the most
is my mind
and there is no way to escape that prison
the ways I have tried
did not work
they got me pushed in further
the handcuffs tighter
and the ball and chain shorter
and its harder to get to the window
where i can see outside
through the crack that people use
exploit
stretch
squeeze through
and i bar shut
when they steal and break my heart
and leave
and don't ever come back
but there is always another one
that people make
use
exploit
and then leave through
and i bar shut
I don't want to bar the whole room
and the blanket
i don't want to but a gun to the door
and a spear at the window
a knife through my heart
whats left of it
dust
and shattered pieces
maybe
a sparkle of hope
here and there
here and there
here and there
but if you look directly at it
put everything on it
it blinks
and doesn't come back
just like the light
I open my eyes
I'm on an operating table
the light is back
A man walks over
"Nurse, he's awake"
"yes doctor"
I start to feel tired again
i fight it
i don't want to go BACK
back to the room
that dark room
with the window
which is still barred
and the curtains drawn
