Im losing someone
i thought it would be forever
He's slipping through my fingers
Like tears flowing down
The sky is breaking open
And the angels are crying
Ive ruined the best thing ive ever had
The best thing thats every happened to me
And i've fucked it all up
And im now in a hole
Im trying to make it better.
and all he does it tear it down :(
Im still in love with the most beautiful boy
And he says he still loves me
"theres no spark anymore" he says
So imma bring a tazer to my heart
We are on a break. and i know it isnt good
I love this boy
and im tryin not o be a fool
I want us to be together
(forever. Forever)
theres no spark anymore
So imma bring a tazer to my heart
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
icy knives, flying room for two
ICY KNIVES
on my bare, exposed face
the icy shards slicing into my skin
through my hoody and t-shirt underneath
i walk down the empty street
and look at the street's name
Lonely avenue
even the towns empty veins taunt me.
The clouds are solemn and dark
what little light shines thru is quickly filled
by the rats and other little insects
too small to defend themselves
I cant push them away
because i wont let myself
the wind lets up for a moment and i look up
only to be sliced into again.
like miniature razor blades sliding across my skin
the ice doesnt know what its doing
what pain its causing.
it only has one thought
one hope
one dream
to be free
Fulfilled by sky
its mighty strength and power stretching for eternities
```````````````````````````````````````
Flying room for two
the sky is open
the sky is free
why dont you want to be with me?
flying here and flying there.
Why cant you just let this be?
If this cant be filled by you
Who can i give my love to?
this ticket,
for flying room for two....
Saturday, April 17, 2010
T|-|E |_0\/E 1 C/-\|\|T |-|/-\\/E
im alone...
In a world of love
The love i am addicted to
the taste of it upon my lips
love's first kiss
the sweet secretions
of a world i can never touch.
why does it hurt so much
it feels like i cant breathe
without the taste of love on my lips.
the sky is breaking
or is that my heart
it sounds like its in my chest
but its in your hands
or.....it was.
my heart is here
on the floor
i buried it
i closed the door
.....................
i thought i had that love
the one i crave
every night
but its gone
he gave it to someone else
someone he can never have
when i gave a chance
he didnt want it
he left it to die
there. with my heart
a rose
the chances ive taken
and the chances that ive lost
wilting forever more
beside my heart
6 feet under.
In a world of love
The love i am addicted to
the taste of it upon my lips
love's first kiss
the sweet secretions
of a world i can never touch.
why does it hurt so much
it feels like i cant breathe
without the taste of love on my lips.
the sky is breaking
or is that my heart
it sounds like its in my chest
but its in your hands
or.....it was.
my heart is here
on the floor
i buried it
i closed the door
.....................
i thought i had that love
the one i crave
every night
but its gone
he gave it to someone else
someone he can never have
when i gave a chance
he didnt want it
he left it to die
there. with my heart
a rose
the chances ive taken
and the chances that ive lost
wilting forever more
beside my heart
6 feet under.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
The new rules of my world
My life has slowly declined since January. It bumped up a bit in the end of January, yet fell again after valentines day.
thats when my life went downhill
i am currently single and it seems like i always will be and i am giving up on love... Permanently
i have friends. they are amazing but they can never fill this lonely hole.
Im locked in a room with no windows. and no doors. ive been locked in forever.
you see the smile that can come up at will?? the mask i can wear to hide the pain?
its breaking...fraying at the edges
the sword is mightier than the heart. the knife stronger than the skin. In the end we are all defeated and eaten by something
the shadows grow longer then disappear forever.
the moon no longer casts her lovely glow
upon my blood splayed planet
IM DYING alone
and the one who caused this lives
dont look at me
I dont want you to see me like this
look in the mirror and see me by your side.
with you laying against me
midnight sandwiches., i had three
my dreams were shattered
and i was left here all alone.
and now you have moved on
you lied to me
and i hope it kills you
i curse you
and i curse your love
may it turn to hate and pain
and more pain
and physical
may your stomach burn with its own acid
and may your heart bleed out
may your nightmares become darker and the sky turn red
may your clouds rain poison and may your moons rays burn your flesh
your soul is rotting in me hand
and you brought this to yourself
I thought i had found love
and it left me
i thought i had found it again.
and it once again left me.
for even less
the black god will someday welcome me
as i am his priest
may his messengers
bring you too me
tattered and left alone
for what you have you cannot bring with you
i would save you.
but you wont ask.
and i wont offer
the black god and his queen
his prince
his son and priest
`````````````````````````````````````````
and now a poem
Ive called out for you
ive told you the truth
there is nothing that i can do
and the pain will not leave me
even now i can feel the physical pain
my heart is breaking in my chest
and the shards are leaking out my eyes
Ive called out
and you turned away
the truth must have hurt you
because now you wont even say a word
you've moved on
that i can see
i hope it was worth
my soul
`````````````````````````````````````````
when the wind blows into my face
i swear i can smell your breath
and when the sky is dark
i see your eyes in the stars
you may not have loved me
but i loved you
i left your name on the moon
and carved into my heart
hoping you would return
but now you are just on the list
your remains on my arm
the end
the bloody heart
bleeding into my hand
and i wont dare move
because i intend to hurt you
not your body
but your soul will rot
If it kills me
then at least ill still be with the black god and his queen.
thats when my life went downhill
i am currently single and it seems like i always will be and i am giving up on love... Permanently
i have friends. they are amazing but they can never fill this lonely hole.
Im locked in a room with no windows. and no doors. ive been locked in forever.
you see the smile that can come up at will?? the mask i can wear to hide the pain?
its breaking...fraying at the edges
the sword is mightier than the heart. the knife stronger than the skin. In the end we are all defeated and eaten by something
the shadows grow longer then disappear forever.
the moon no longer casts her lovely glow
upon my blood splayed planet
IM DYING alone
and the one who caused this lives
dont look at me
I dont want you to see me like this
look in the mirror and see me by your side.
with you laying against me
midnight sandwiches., i had three
my dreams were shattered
and i was left here all alone.
and now you have moved on
you lied to me
and i hope it kills you
i curse you
and i curse your love
may it turn to hate and pain
and more pain
and physical
may your stomach burn with its own acid
and may your heart bleed out
may your nightmares become darker and the sky turn red
may your clouds rain poison and may your moons rays burn your flesh
your soul is rotting in me hand
and you brought this to yourself
I thought i had found love
and it left me
i thought i had found it again.
and it once again left me.
for even less
the black god will someday welcome me
as i am his priest
may his messengers
bring you too me
tattered and left alone
for what you have you cannot bring with you
i would save you.
but you wont ask.
and i wont offer
the black god and his queen
his prince
his son and priest
`````````````````````````````````````````
and now a poem
Ive called out for you
ive told you the truth
there is nothing that i can do
and the pain will not leave me
even now i can feel the physical pain
my heart is breaking in my chest
and the shards are leaking out my eyes
Ive called out
and you turned away
the truth must have hurt you
because now you wont even say a word
you've moved on
that i can see
i hope it was worth
my soul
`````````````````````````````````````````
when the wind blows into my face
i swear i can smell your breath
and when the sky is dark
i see your eyes in the stars
you may not have loved me
but i loved you
i left your name on the moon
and carved into my heart
hoping you would return
but now you are just on the list
your remains on my arm
the end
the bloody heart
bleeding into my hand
and i wont dare move
because i intend to hurt you
not your body
but your soul will rot
If it kills me
then at least ill still be with the black god and his queen.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
my life at the moment lol
Ok. so im with this amazing guy named Frankie. and i love him to death. He makes me so happy and warm and fuzzy inside. It only took a date and half for me to fall for him. And now i love him like crazy. Life is pretty good. Although school has been a bit of trouble. Im doing well, but im finding it a bit hard to keep up; i need a bit of eh idk. relaxation. I want to see frankie more often. we have only been on two dates. one to the movies (saw avatar. awesome movie) and then to dinner for my birthday at a fancy japanese steakhouse. And its amazing. I want life to be this perfect for a long long time.
THINGS HAVE CHANGED LIFE ISNT SO FUCKING HAPPY ANYMORE. LIFE IS DIFFERENT.
MY SONG IS ENDING..
THINGS HAVE CHANGED LIFE ISNT SO FUCKING HAPPY ANYMORE. LIFE IS DIFFERENT.
MY SONG IS ENDING..
Monday, December 21, 2009
OMG dramaaaaaa
well um wow. ok. so there was a whole thing with cody today that makes me angry. and well. i met a new guy his name is frankie. and he is amazing. cute and very awesome and funny. i dont know. my life has just became brighter but more confusing. i made cody cry today/ me and tyler met and we put some things together too quicklly and well yeah.
ok. so im in the process of a new poem im gonna post it on here now. let me flow something
(had to kill my music almost started stealing lyrics xD)
these words that flow from mine fingers
these words of emotional torrents
I sing a lullaby
to a frozen child
who lays within my dreams
as i look around and find myself
the ice melts.
my mind is warmed by love.
and my heart is thawed
i run and dance and am married
but i look at the still frozen boy
and realize
the boy is me
and boy so hurt
my heart
my soul
my love
so hurt
he is frozen
because he wishes not to be hurt
the only thing that will wake him
is true loves first kiss
tell me whats u think if you read this lonely blog! xD
ok. so im in the process of a new poem im gonna post it on here now. let me flow something
(had to kill my music almost started stealing lyrics xD)
these words that flow from mine fingers
these words of emotional torrents
I sing a lullaby
to a frozen child
who lays within my dreams
as i look around and find myself
the ice melts.
my mind is warmed by love.
and my heart is thawed
i run and dance and am married
but i look at the still frozen boy
and realize
the boy is me
and boy so hurt
my heart
my soul
my love
so hurt
he is frozen
because he wishes not to be hurt
the only thing that will wake him
is true loves first kiss
tell me whats u think if you read this lonely blog! xD
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