IDK ANYMORE

Idk what to say about getting hurt. i dont think i have a heart and soul anymore. dont turn into me...... ive been hurt so many times. just because i cant stand to hurt ppl. and so i wait for them to hurt me. i get attched then it happens and i harden up a bit more each time. ...............i dont think i have a soul. nothing hurts anymore., and when it does. it just scratches a bit. because its just digging black hole deeper

Wel

Well. i think that i am prolly dying. i have never had so many medical problems at once. I think that maybe im cursed. or something from the past is trying to catch up with everything ive missed. i had the worst fever ever today. and i felt horrible and wanted to puke. but i didnt. so. idk. i wonder whats going on

so im writing a book. I think it is coming out ok. its like 5 pages writing. and everything is uwber short in the computer. im open to ideas for the inside but the base plot i think is ok. here is the prologue

Prologue

The wind blew cold and hard against Jerame's Face, it felt like spikes of ice driving into his face. He felt his eyes start to water, bu the tears quickly froze to his face. “What have I gotten myself into!?” he cried out. Nobody would ever hear his final words. He gazed out over the valley, filled with its winter albino blanket.

“You, Kid! What are you doing up here? You are going to freeze to death!”

“No, that’s too slow.” He whispered to the wind. He took off running towards the drop off.

Kid, wait! Don’t do it!” Jerame took a glance back, the police officer running after him.

“Do not follow me officer, it’s too late for me.” And he leaped. High and long, those few lasting seconds before gravity took its deadly hold. He fell, and it felt to him as if he might fall forever. “Its too late, there’s no going back.”

and here is the pieces of chapter one so far

“It’s not that bad Charlie,” Stacy said, “I mean, its not like anyone is going to find this place, its completely invisible from the inside. Like, the only way we found it is because my stupid foot fell into the hole.” Stacy stood, her red hair barely an inch from the short ceiling. “And If we do hear anything we can hide in…….that thing,” she exclamed; pointing to the small, round door in the middle of the wall. “It looks like one of us could get in there.”

“Its not people im worried about,” Charlie said, also standing, “I’m worried about why this place is here, it’s just occurred to me, why haven’t we seen any spiders? Any Snakes? Any flies even?! It just doesn’t fit right with me. And what is behind that door? It freaks me out.” He walked to the wall opposite the round clockwork door, standing next to the ladder leading outside. “It just doesn’t make sense” he muttered.

it doesnt make sense yet i know. but in the written version. its ok. i might just buy a blank book and do it all in writing to make it seem like a lot haha

My horrific thoughts not for the faint of heart

These are my deep thoughts. the ones i hide from everyone. even myself. and letting them out like this is bad. especially on the internet. but. if you read these. be warned. hey are not for the faint of heart so please dont hate me....




---me slitting someones throat and letting their blood wash over me. and im smiling the whole time.
----me sitting on the couch, i get up, pick up the Tv. and smash the big thing over my brothers head
---- me getting a gun. and walking downstairs and shooting everything, lighting the house on fire, and then i shoot myself
---- i just kill random people i dont like. and i keep their eyes in a big jar. and i know who is who by just looking
----- (this is one ive come close to doing) just sitting in bed cutting random things into my skin all over , even on my tongue.

thats it for now. i hope you dont dislike me just because of this. I hide these even from myself. and this is not me!!! i dont want to be that person. :'( but the thoughts dont go away. they just dont stop. why cant i be normal...........

The truth beneath the name. lol i bet youve been wondering

Ok. the name Demon of the Wasteland. Well. its mine Its because. Well. im different. and i feel that way a lot. im a demon in a wasteland of nothingness. i am decidedly bad, when most people try to be "good" they never really are. I am decidedly bad. I can prove it if you really want. I could be considered the same as the others in a way just because i dont express everything i think. so. ohm didnt say much but its a start huh

Soul surgery

My soul is torn apart

by the ways my friends act

They act like their life is crap

yet they dont see their own trap

They dig a hole

and jump so far down

and they bring their shovels along




I try to turn my back

on the one who hurt me most

the one who i know cant save himself

but doesnt want to try

He yells and screams

and lies and cries


and im still here

with my scalpel and my prayers

my scalpel

it cuts through the confusion of drugs


My clamp

keeps you from bleeding away


My tears

they sting. but they help you see the pain


My sutures my catsgut

they help me fix you up.
they close up what ive done

My soul surgery

Is only half done


You must take these pills.

A 300 Mg dose of love everyday at breakfast lunch and dinner

4 square hugs a day. one with each meal, and one at random. Overdosing is ok

And take this new experimental pill. its called bliss

it saves you from yourself.

makes you remember

makes you learn from the things youve done


Will you pay the price of this surgery

the soul surgery

a life saving procedure

Candy dreams of a lonely child.

A rose petal floats upon the sea

lonely as a single tree

A child's smile as bright as the sun

lights up my heart like a tango

A dance with the constellations

The sky is blue as a baby's blue eyes

The sun sets on a lonely world

While the moon rises on a hidden dream

Of dancing creatures with smiles and grins

and magical forests filled with candy trees

and rivers of milk. the houses of gingerbread

decor'd with gumdrop shingles

and icing windows

filled with happy gingerbread men

and their many friends

gingerbread women

leave milk and cookies

for Santy Clause

in hopes of seeing his jolly face

the moon sets on a hidden dream land

as the sun rises.............on a lonely world.